IMITATION OF ME

Poisonous.
I took cyanide.
It is concentrated inside my heart.
And dripping upwards into my brain.

I see truth now.
Clearer than previous suspicions.
I never projected curiosity as a man insecure.

That was the first sip.
I assumed our relationship was like wine.
Somewhat maturing due to distance and space.
Assuring my mental that your loyalty was an antidote.
My conclusive assumptions are today my very,'Soft-killer,'drugs.

I am not in your shoe and never will be.
I look at things differently from obsessive perspectives.
I swallow truth as it is,not what it could be.
As my death nears and hell thirsts for my presence.

I say this to you.

You were made from my rib.
I repossessed the one I had given her and placed it in you.
I have taken it back spiritually now.
So,so that its physical fixation can always haunt your decision.
Your unforgivable step of replacing me with an imitation of what I was.

For once I compare.
Skin color and almost everything about him resembles me.
I just don't see feelings that replicate bolting desires.
I feel no passionate flares suspended above his head.

You could defend him.

This is my platform to tell you things I shouldn't.
I just have to since I'm dying anyway.

I warned you.
You thought your type of,'Love-loyalty,'was impenetrable.
He pierced into your shields.
His arrow tip,smeared with toxic 'Mind Change' venom.
Injected into your heart,spread onto your ribs,disintegrated the one I gave you and left it in fractures.

These very pieces of shattered bone.
I feel them in my mouth descending as my body gets numb.
Paralysis coming into sunrise.
Cold gripping my soul like a risen sinner.

I have no confessions.
My heart is squeezing out the love syrup you gave me before your departure.
My mind is intoxicated with raged solutions of dispatch and vanish.
I accept this fact of irrational love.
I have to die for him to live inside you.

This angst of torture I can endure no more.

I have a feeling you will not justify your actions.
Nor will you fathom my suicide.
May you transform him too into someone else's mimic.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL